The cheat code of life is liking yourself most of all
how I am learning to be my favorite person
I love me some TikTok. That’s my favorite social media platform, hands down. Instagram can be a bit much sometimes, and Threads still feels like Twitter’s quirky little cousin, but TikTok? That’s home. That’s where I go when I need to laugh so hard I snort, cry a little unexpectedly, or find an oddly specific video that somehow reads my soul like a diary I didn’t know I left open. It’s my go-to space for laughter, learning, and deep little pockets of wisdom when I least expect it.
This week, while doing my usual late-night doomscroll, I stumbled across a short but really powerful TikTok. You can watch it here. In the video, the creator talks about the ultimate life cheat code being this: like yourself the most. Become your own favorite person. When you do that, she says, you stop questioning when good things happen to you. You stop sabotaging your blessings. You stop giving energy to people and situations that chip away at your joy.
She said that by prioritizing liking herself first, she’s been able to build better friendships, date with more clarity, and cut through the mess that used to leave her drained and confused.
Simple, right? We all talk about self-love and self-care like it’s second nature now. But that video made me pause. It hit me differently. It made me ask myself a question I didn’t know I needed to ask: Linisa, do you even like you?
And truthfully? Yeah. I do. I love who I’m becoming. But I haven’t always been my own favorite person.
I’ve spent so many years trying to please others, be palatable, be impressive. I’ve been the girl who shows up, even when she doesn’t want to. The girl who overextends. Who bends. I had confused being needed with being valued. And had confused performance with purpose.
I revisited a recent blog post I wrote titled I Hope I’m Not Too Late to Set My Demons Straight. It was raw. Honest. But reading it now, a month later, I noticed how self-critical it sounded. I was still punishing myself for not being "healed" fast enough. One of my best friends messaged me after she read it. She told me the piece was beautifully written, but also gently reminded me that I don’t live there anymore. That girl in the post — she was doing her best. But I’ve grown. I’ve shifted.
That reminder cracked something open.
Because here’s the thing: healing isn’t a final destination. It’s an ongoing, often clumsy journey. And somewhere in the midst of all that stumbling and striving, I’ve started to genuinely like the woman I’m becoming.
I’m softer now. Slower in the best ways. I’m learning to be deliberate with my time and my tenderness. I drink more water. I stretch. I speak to myself with more kindness than I ever have. I’m reconnecting with my creativity, slowly and tenderly, like catching up with an old friend I ghosted for a few years. I’m also choosing what I consume with more intention — the food, the music, the conversations, the content.
And that includes the challenges I give myself.
I quietly started a 60-day reset challenge for myself. Nothing too loud or flashy. Just a quiet, sacred promise I made to myself. I’m on day five right now. And to be honest, I was going to make this whole post about it. Share the details. Invite you to join me. Document it daily on Substack Notes. But I talked myself out of it.
Why?
Because this reset isn’t a performance. It’s not a transformation arc for public consumption. It’s personal. Intimate. It’s me learning to hold myself accountable with compassion. Me choosing to show up differently — for me.
There’s a lot of pressure to perform your healing. To turn every milestone into content. To broadcast every self-discovery. But I’ve realized I don’t owe the world a front-row seat to my transformation. Some things are meant to be sacred. Quiet. Just for me. And this season of my life? It’s about becoming my own favorite person without needing applause.
That means doing the hard, unsexy work. Waking up early. Moving my body even when I don’t want to. Having uncomfortable conversations. Leaving spaces that no longer align. Saying “no” with love but without guilt. Saying “yes” to myself — even when that yes comes with fear, uncertainty, or loneliness.
I’m learning that liking yourself isn’t always glamorous. Sometimes, it looks like choosing rest over productivity. Sometimes, it looks like forgiving yourself again and again. Sometimes, it looks like saying “I love you” to your reflection on a day when you feel anything but beautiful.
And sometimes, it looks like setting up your tripod and using your remote to take pictures of yourself.
Yesterday, I took some self-portraits. I was makeup-free, and glowing. I looked strong. Soft. Proud. And even though I debated it, I decided to share a few here. Not because I need validation. But because it’s important to witness ourselves in our becoming.
Self-portraits have become a gentle ritual for me. A way of affirming, “I see you.” A way of capturing growth that isn’t always visible to the outside world. They’re not about perfection. They’re about presence.
So here’s a couple. No filter. No glam. Just me. Becoming.
And maybe, just maybe, I’ll post them on Instagram. Not for the likes, but for the liberation.
I’ve realized that when you genuinely start to like yourself, your standards change. Your peace becomes more important than pleasing. You become less tolerant of emotional noise. You choose solitude over chaos. You stop proving your worth and start protecting it. You stop performing and start just being.
When I look at the woman I’m becoming, I feel proud. Not because she’s perfect. But because she’s real. She’s showing up every day, even when it’s hard. She’s unlearning, relearning, softening, strengthening. She’s choosing herself. Again and again.
And that’s the kind of woman I want to be. The kind who is so rooted in self-love and self-respect that everything else is a bonus — not a crutch.
So I’ll ask you again, but slower this time:
Are you your favorite person in the world?
And if not — what would it take to become that person?
Write it down. Think it through. Let that be your soft, sacred starting point.
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I’m definitely in my in between phase. In the beautiful yet difficult yet liberating phase of choosing what I want to keep from my past but also choosing what I want to let go of. For sure learning what patience really is but also learning how to be comfortable with grace